Why Kindness Counts

People surprise me all the time...mostly with their kindness and goodness. I witness service everyday in all its forms. I believe people to be generally good. I like to see people for the amazing things they are or can become. I like to like people.

But every so often I am taken aback for just a moment. Tonight I had an interesting experience. I was in the grocery store with all three of my kids. My youngest had to go to the bathroom so I sent him in with my other two so he could get started while I finished putting some cilantro in the cart. I walked towards the bathroom, taking the baby isle as the shortest route. I passed a young mom and her son being pushed in a stroller. I didn't think much of it. As I passed her she called out and said, "Excuse me, can you help me please? I need to buy diapers and I didn't bring enough money. Do you have money you could spare?" I took in the whole scene. She looked rough...her son, even rougher. He was the dirtiest baby I'd seen. No shoes, crazy hair, dirt all over, and very squirmy. He was chewing on a banana and trying to be good. I NEVER carry cash and had all of $0.47. I'm a credit kind of gal. I gave her all the change I had and she said thank you. I went into the bathroom, finished helping my son, and stood as he finished up. And was hit with the strong impression that I should go out, find her, and offer to buy her diapers.

So I gathered my kids, and walked every isle until I found her. I told her that she could come with me and that I would buy her diapers. She said OK and followed. We waited for a moment in line while she told me about her abusive husband that she'd just left. She showed me a bruise on her neck. She told me how she'd attempted to walk to Walmart to return something she didn't need so that she could get diapers, but stopped because it was too hot and too hard. I listened with sympathy and told her I was sorry she had to go through those things.

It was our turn. I told her to go ahead of me. She placed the diapers on the check stand. I stepped up to the cashier and told her that I needed those diapers put into a separate bag and that I would pay for them along with my groceries. The cashier looked at me in a stupor. I repeated again what needed to be done. Her manager was now with us also and looked as confused as she did. He hesitated but did as I asked. I turned to the girl and told her to take the bag. She said thank you and left. The manager followed her.

I don't serve others to be recognized. That's not the point. I didn't need the cashier to say anything. But I knew that if she did say something that it would be words like, "That was nice". What I got wasn't what I was expecting. AT ALL. The minute the girl was out of earshot, the cashier turned to me and got after me. "You shouldn't have done that for her. She's in here all the time begging for money. She did this last week. She lies to you. She gives herself those bruises. You shouldn't ever help her again." I didn't know what to say. So all I said was "Hmmm." She treated me like I had been taken and fooled. And then an awkward silence ensued as the manager followed the girl out to tell her to stop coming in. After a moment the cashier looked at me quickly and said quietly, "But that was very nice of you. I understand why a mom like you would want to help." I smiled at her and simply said, "It didn't hurt me to do it." And she didn't say any more to me.

Now it gets interesting. I walked out to my car and here was this girl....getting into a car that was being driven by another adult. It was a nice car. The girl looked at me and said thank you again. I could see a hint of shame in her eyes, the look that said, "I lied to you." And I just smiled. But inside I felt a little disappointed. I had been taken. The cashier was right. But this feeling lasted for only a second before I was humbled for letting that thought in.

I believe in God. I KNOW Him to be real. How, you may ask? I find it sufficient to say that it is for reasons that can't be explained. The wind can't be seen...but I can feel it and see the evidence of it's power. That's the most basic way of me explaining it to you. I believe He leads us to people. I know He sees the bigger picture and nudges us in certain directions and then waits for us to listen and act. And He is so good at teaching us. And tonight He taught me. As I let disappointment in at knowing this girl had lied, He was quick to speak to my mind. "I didn't ask you to judge her. I asked you to buy her diapers. That's all you need to worry about." And that was that. I pushed the thought aside and didn't worry another second about it. I would listen to God.

The world is interesting. We look at people and if we consider them to be undeserving, we see any act of service towards them as a waste of time. But sometimes service isn't about the other person at all. Maybe tonight was about me. Maybe it was my turn to be tested. Maybe tonight was the night that God said, "I'd like to know if Sarah will listen to me tonight. I'd like to know if she'll part with $10. I'd like to know if she'll stand up to a cashier. I'd like to know if she'll still be happy about it after learning that someone lied to her. I'd like to know if she'll just trust me". Sometimes it's about me.

I'll never know what that girl truly does and does not need. And that's OK. It doesn't matter. Bottom line...we're all undeserving. God is the one who wakes me up every morning and allows me to live another day. He gives me each breath I take. He gave me my beautiful family. He allows us to be together. He gives me EVERYTHING. And there are days that I'm ungrateful and undeserving and He still blesses me. He's merciful and kind and gives me things I don't deserve. So who am I to withhold blessings from others, when what I give them has already been given to me by God in the first place? My money belongs to Him, those diapers belong to Him, that girl belongs to Him. And every so often He allows us to be an instrument in His hands.

I don't give money to everyone that asks. But there are times when charity is needed and kindness is called for. Listen to His voice for those times when He needs you. Don't judge others based on your perception of their deserving. We're all undeserving and we're all in need of God's love.

Find someone to love today.

"We are all in need of mercy" - Dieter F. Uchtdorf