Every so often I have weeks where I miss my family in a major way. I'm the oldest of six children and every single one of them is within 4 hours of home. And then there's me...14 hours. Not a quick trip, not an easy drop-in. If I lived 4 hours away, I'd go home all the time. I love family time; I love mom and dad and I love sitting on the back deck of my parent's house while we talk and watch the kids play.
I was in the car the other day and a song came on. And I immediately wanted my sister, Anna. She and I have this thing...music. We text each other song titles all the time and it's just an understanding; it means "go listen, you'll love it". And it means "I thought of you when I heard this and thinking of you makes me happy". And while I was listening to this song I was momentarily completely amazed that life gives us ways to love each other from a distance. For brief moments, I can be with a family member in spirit. As the song played, she was in the passenger seat with me and we were singing it and I could hear her laugh and say, "I love that line!". And of course we'd be on our way to the beach while we listened.
Life surrounds us with ways to stay connected to those that aren't nearby. Our loved ones are everywhere in the lovely things around us. It's in the simple things. I couldn't think of another person I wanted to call more when the Giant's won the World Series last year than my brother, Daniel. And he gives me a reason to love the Giants even more because every time they play, I know Dan is watching. And it feels like we're on the couch together talking about how great Hunter Pence is.
Then there's Kyle...the one person I call when I struggle with a scary midnight cough in my child and can't calm my frustrations and fears on the outcome. He's a calming influence and a voice of reason. He's all the sudden sitting on the couch with me in the middle of the night, calming my crying child. And we talk in the middle of the night in quiet voices about life. And then when I have tiny triumphs, I can't wait to call him. But he always beats me to it and calls me first. And then somehow, something that was so hard all of the sudden becomes easy.
Last week I got my hair colored...that's huge for me. And I just knew I needed to call my sister, Jenn. She'd love it. She'd tell me it was awesome and that I looked ten pounds lighter and that I should go buy a new outfit to match my new hair. And for a moment she was beside me in a dressing room telling me how awesome I looked in this new outfit. I can't get a new haircut without thinking about Jenn.
Jess...we've had amazing conversations about the deeper things in life. And just last year we gained common ground in motherhood. And we spent hours on the phone in the beginning talking about the joys and hardships of motherhood. And now I can't walk by baby clothes without wanting to call her. And for a moment, we're in the middle of a sale rack looking for cute baby clothes while I remind her she's a good mother.
Then there's dad, a true pillar in my life and a spiritual giant. I can't get through a Sunday afternoon without missing my dad. Sunday's are his favorite. He reads, takes walks, visits with family, and spends the day focusing on God's blessings. And now I take walks with my husband on Sunday afternoons and for a moment, I'm with my dad on a walk. And he holds my hand because that's what he likes to do and we wouldn't get through the walk without him telling me how beautiful I was...he's good at that. He tells me all the time.
And mom...truly my best friend. Everything lovely reminds me of her: a swatch of cute fabric, a great new recipe, a quilt, Downton Abbey, the new book I'm reading, the new flowers I planted in front, EVERYTHING reminds me of mom. And I have thousands of moments with her in my mind about the things that happen everyday. And then I can't stand it and actually call her. And we talk for two hours about everything and nothing and I ache to have her here. So I wrap myself in one of her quilts that's on my couch and watch an episode of Gilmore Girls and for a moment, she's here and we're talking about how Rory should have ended up with Jess.
I spend every day of my life loving them from a distance.
Now, it may appear that I'm simply homesick. But, in actuality, all this sentiment lends itself to a boundless amount of gratitude for one special person...Jesus Christ. Stick with me on the connection.
I gave a church lesson today and we were able to watch a beautiful Easter message about Christ. I'll share it at the end of this post. The message is simple: HE IS HERE. Christ, who was crucified and died, rose again on the third day. And He is here, all around us, in everything good.
There are facts and realities that cannot be avoided in this life. One of the most certain is that we will all die. People leave us as they leave this life in death, and we are left to love them from a distance. And they leave things behind that remind us of them, and we still have moments with them in some respect.
But today, as I watched, I was overcome with gratitude for the resurrection. Christ erases the distance. He allows any parting to be temporary...most importantly our distance from Him and our loving Heavenly Father. Someday, if I do my part, the distance between He and I will be gone permanently. And in the meantime, He's left blessings all around me that allow us to have moments together: His peaceful words in the scriptures, my wonderful husband, my beautiful children, the crickets outside at night, the gentle summer breeze, all lend itself to His presence in my life. HE IS HERE. And I can have moments with Him as I fall to my knees and pray to Him. And these moments are REAL. And just as I can speak with my family, I can speak to Him. Our conversations are real, His love is real. The distance is gone.
As you can tell, my family is pretty great. I think being homesick is a good sign that you come from a wonderful home. You wouldn't miss something if you didn't love it a lot, right?
As I grow older, I find myself becoming a new kind of homesick...for a home I came from long ago with my Father in Heaven. Christ has provided the way back. I look forward to that day as I enjoy this earthly experience in all it's splendor.
And in the meantime...He's loving me from a distance.
https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2015-04-1010-he-lives-celebrate-easter-because-jesus-christ-lives?category=topics/easter&lang=eng
Happy Easter
Sarah
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